China Lyfe Updated

We are all out of vacation time and are now on the home stretch until we return to America! October was full of traveling and days off from teaching, but now as we head into November we have no more vacation time until the end of December :( Crazy to think I only have six more weeks here!

Heres my China life through some random pictures... enjoy!

I celebrated my birthday here in China. The big ol' 19. It's a weird age. Im no longer FINALLY AN ADULT, but I am still a teenager so... The day was rather uneventful. A couple girls surprised me with breakfast in bed (complimentary tasteless china oatmeal with a mini china orange fruit that isn't even an orange but still tastes more alright that chicken feet) and hung streamers in my doorway. I taught my kids as usual and they sang happy birthday to me; it was adorable. We went to dinner at our favorite restaurant (we go there at least once a week) and everyone let me have the extra pancake.  I finally got to open my birthday cards my mom snuck into my suitcase. Ive been excited to open them and was so glad the day had finally come. That was about it for my big day!

It happened. I broke my year streak of not eating McDonalds. It was so not worth it. Still disgusting. One night we were gnawing on our arms because we were so starving and it turned into a few girls going to the mall to fetch everyone some food. It took them about an hour to leave and return with our food and while they were gone I laid on some wooden boards and prayed I wouldn't die of starvation while waiting. It was rough.

I have continued my bad habit of stealing other peoples beds. I have "can never lay in my own bed because everyone else's bed is always comfier" syndrome. Ask my mom... I was banished from her room because I took over her bed. And now Ive done it to Kenzie. We've had a few sleepovers in the past couple weeks... usually because I'm already lounging in her bed for a couple hours prior to bedtime and then find myself too lazy to walk across the hallway to my bed. It's always a great time because our beds are so super itty bitty tiny and then I force her to squish with me each night. 

"Let's get facials."

These are only a few of the kids in our church branch. I got to teach primary last week and these three were in my class. Cutest, most wild kids ever. The girl with the curly black hair has the cutest English accent and is adorable. Her family is from England. The other two are brother and sister and their family is from Hungary. They make each week at church an adventure every time. 

How could I come to China and not hold a panda!? We went to the international mall and there were a hundred or so plastic pandas on display. I think they were celebrating something, but everything is in Chinese so I'll never really know.

 This little girl was toting around a poor little bunny in the tiniest cage I've ever seen. That poor rabbit probably has shaking bunny syndrome.

idk...

Coolest building ever. It changed colors and different designs and was just really awesome. I loved it when it looked like the galaxy ^^^

China always smells so badly. The stinky tofu smells worse than poo. It's so unbearable as you can tell.

My classes got new pets.................................

We went roller skating for Brooke's birthday and it was quite comical. The language barrier was a blessing at this time because all ten of us got to skate for free. It was a tiny tiny rink, like half a basketball court big. When we got there everyone was staring as they do anywhere else we go. These people were so mesmerized that they were standing over us as we were putting our shoes on. They started showing off with their cool cool tricks and going super fast and it was just chaos. None of us were very good at skating and it was probably really funny watching us try to skate. 

Two girls asked if I would skate with them and it turned into them each holding one of my hands and dragging me around the rink. It was really funny and adorable that they were just pulling me around the rink and I didn't even have to do anything haha

 "Kenzie let's take a picture."

 "Ah perfect okay smile even though this creeper is staring into our souls."

 "I have a great idea! Lets each put one leg up and look all cute!"

 "Oh no. TIMMMMBERRRRR"

"Help me."

RANDOMISMS:

• I broke up a fight. It was exhilarating. This girl, Tina, started beating a boy up and were all stunned and couldn't move until it got really bad and then we finally realized we should step in. We broke up that fight and as we were breaking Tina and her victim, two other boys started fighting and it turned into a wrestling match between five teachers and four kids. It was a little embarrassing when a Chinese teacher finally came in to help us and I was straddling Tina trying to get her into the hallway and she was hanging onto the desk for dear life. Her death grip broke the desk... that girl did some real damage that day.
• ***We sleep in bed tents because the mosquitos and spiders think we are friends*** We have been wanting to camp out in our courtyard for awhile and last night we finally decided to do it because its the weekend and all the kids are gone until monday. Of course, me with my brilliant ideas, suggested we throw our beds off the balcony in my room so we didn't have to carry our stuff down the million flights of stairs. We shoved my tent onto the little balcony and then three of us lifted it over the edge and it was dangling there about to drop (hoping it was heavy enough to not get stuck in the tree). We were about to let go when Brooke ran up informing us police officers were on campus looking for a little boy and they were headed towards our building. We stood in absolute silence praying the guards and teachers wouldn't look up and see a bed hanging out of the American teachers apartment. It took us forever to get my bed over the edge, but we got it back on the balcony in record time!
• While we were at the mall, Jennie got picked to dance in some random show. It was even funnier because it was Chinese Michael Jackson impersonator. She won an umbrella and we were all jealous.

• This one time I FaceTimed my family and they wouldn't talk to me... only their hands would. 

VACATION: DAY SEVEN AND EIGHT

Sunday was spent walking around West Street and getting our las minute souvenirs. We found a place that sold normal ice-cream. NORMAL ICE CREAM PEOPLE. I accidentally had to two, three scoop cones but thats besides the point. We thought we were leaving two days from then, but had an epiphany and realized we were leaving the next morning.

Monday was nothing short of an adventure. We woke up at 3am. 3am. Who even knew that time of day even existed. My alarm went off at 3:00 and my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandpa face timed me at 3:02. Weirdest thing ever. I was totally not coherent and probably a little grumpy, but it was nice to talk to them. They wanted to see the toilets, but very evidently forgot about the time difference.

We checked out of the hostel at 3:30am and walked down the alley ways to the van that was awaiting us. Very drug dealer type stuff. We had called and rented a van for seven people. This van only had 6 seats and no trunk. We had our huge bags stuffed to the brim with our souvenirs plus... us. Only the Lord knows how we fit everyone into that van.

Please note there were four people squished in the backseat. Kenzie sat on Maddi's lap the whole way to the train station!

We began our two hour journey to the train station cramped nice and tight. The driver took some crazy back roads and yet again we found ourselves off roading. It was too early for my mind an body to be bounced around at such high speeds. It was quite eerie traveling through a forest in a van with a Chinese stranger, but we survived (barely). There was no AC and a couple of us began to get really car sick and then the sharts hit and it was chaos from that moment on.

Ahh, more pictures of how little leg room was available from two different angles for your enjoyment ft. Courtney aka Cocaine aka mom

We arrived at the train station and hour 24 hour train ride back to our temporary home began. TWENTY FOUR HOUR TRAIN RIDE ROUND TWO. This time we were not as fortunate to have beds. We had to sit straight up for the entire ride. The seats didn't recline at all because the backs were shared with the people behind you. Straight. Up. Twenty. Four. Hours. And just because its China, they sell tickets for standing room. Our train was jam packed. Because there were so many people standing and laying on the floor it was impossible to get up and walk around to stretch your legs out. I will never again complain about the 6 hour drive to visit my family in Salt Lake. 

My neck pillow became my best friend. I do not know how I ever lived my life without one. I would spend good money on a neck pillow if I had to. Those things are life savers. 

Hours rolled by and my sanity did too. As the hours passed we made pb and j sandwiches and that was much more hard than it should've been. People were falling on us and leaning on us, eyes were staring into our souls silently begging for a bite. It was really difficult. Later I got my cards out and we played go fish for like 12 hours. Kenzie got up to go to the bathroom for the 347084708 time and the lady sitting across from me (who I was sure hated me for numerous reasons) stole her cards and began playing go fish with me. This led to a lady sitting on the floor joining in and before you know it we had a nice little game of go fish/charades going. 

People were ALWAYS leaning on us. At one point this lady with one eye fell asleep leaning over Kenzie and it was quite uncomfortable in many ways.

Hour 3 of our adventure..

 They were always staring at us. The whole train ride we were stared at and it was a joke between us, "1, 2, 3... All eyes on me."

I think this was only like hour 9...

Hour 15....

 Passed time by scraping our teeth with Oreos...

Hour 18.... idk.

It was so miserable. I would never wish this train ride on my worst enemy. It was so cramped and hot and uncomfortable. My butt was screaming for help by the end of it. My back was croaking. I was an 18 year old when I got on, but I felt like an 80 year old woman getting off the train. I remember waking up at 1 in the morning and like whimper crying to myself because we still had 5 hours left on the train. I began praying with everything I had in me asking the time to pass by quickly. God and I became real close during that train ride. I prayed so much. I barely made it out of there alive.

I don't know why, but my feet swelled up so huge while we were on the train. I left my flip flops on the entire time because the floors were absolutely disgusting and I had bruises along the straps of my shoes because my feet swelled so big. It was the weirdest thing ever. 

I swear my toes are not that chubby and I really don't have kankles! 

I don't even know how I am alive to share the train stories with you. Writing about it makes feelings of hatred and anger come back. I could never do anything like that ever again. My great friend Jennie made a really great video describing our train rides if you would like to watch it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9na-TjwjhdM

She has made videos of every adventure we have gone on. Feel free to watch them over and over and see all the cool things we have gotten to experience!

VACATION: DAY SIX

On Saturday we rented mopeds again and went looking for this place called "The Secret Beach." I was not informed we were taking the scenic route of the ENTIRE valley and thought we were lost for 10 hours lolololol ahhhh good times. We took back roads and got to ride around completely rural areas without being disturbed by the hustle and bustle of ten million other drivers.

Didn't really think it through and wore a dress again

We pulled over at a random spot and I got to snap this beauty. ARENT THE MOUNTAINS THE COOLEST THINGS EVER? I was so mind blown by how cool they were. 

We made some friends while driving through the wilderness

I had to pee so we pulled over at this cute little algae infested creek. I peed on my shoes, snapped this picture, and then we were off on our merry little way once again.

The view of Maddi's head was wonderful (we were in the sun for so long we got some pretty great tan lines)

How lucky am I to have this very moment documented? Another off roading moped story for you.... We thought we found this really scenic spot for pictures. We thought, "oh its just around the corner!" lol no. Some girls went down the road first and the other girls decided to park their mopeds and walk down the hill because the terrain was a bit too sketchy. "NOT I!" I said. I was determined to take that downward slope like the Noorda I am! 

The road was barely that. It was a wide dirt path with far too many pot holes and crevices to count. So bumpy, our poor little moped was about to fall apart. Being the new generation, we were like, "oh let's record this!" So we pulled over, unlocked the seat to get my phone out and next thing I heard was "SHIZ! NO NO NO!" Maddi had locked the key in the seat. We were so far down the road we couldn't just walk back and we don't have working cell phones here. Maddi squeezed her hand into the seat and was able to get the key back out. It was a miracle. We continued our off roading trek in our newly bought dresses and saw our lives flash before our eyes numerous times. Thank goodness we had our life saving helmets on. Luckily we made it back and only needed a few minutes to gather our bearings before we could continue on.

We had made a complete circle around the entire valley and ended up five minutes away from our hostel and realized "the secret beach" was only a walk away from where we were staying. Apparently everyone knew we were doing that the whole day... I didn't. We parked our sick rides and walked to a little entry to the bank of the Li River (past the DO NOT SWIM HERE sign) and were begging someone to get in first. We finally got in and it was so wonderful. The water was not cold at all, but at the same time it was the most cool, refreshing feeling after a long day in the sun. Our sunburns cooled down and we got to swim around for a little while. It was unlike any experience I've ever had.

I have gotten so close with these girls and I love them more than anything (plus the girls not pictured)

This is not the most flattering picture but it shows just how lovely my sunburned tan lines were

We had two more hours left with the mopeds when we were done swimming and decided to head back up to the mountains and just cruise around. We took a new route this time so we could explore even more of the unknown. We were just cruising along when we stopped to take pictures for a couple minutes. I had put my dress in Kaylie's backpack because I was still wet and decided I wanted to get it out while we were stopped. So we unlocked the seat, I got my dress out, and next thing ya know we couldn't get the key out of the lock. It was really, really stuck. It would not come out of the lock for anyone. Believe me, we each took a pull at that dang thing. It was so stuck and we quickly became stranded. We were becoming flustered and worried and didn't really know what to do. We could not get the key out no matter what we tried. It was just stuck. We decided to say a prayer and ask for help in our desperate time of need. It was getting dark and we had no idea what we were going to do.

A cute little family of four drove past us and we flagged them down to ask for help. All four of them were piled onto one motorcycle so we felt kind of bad asking them to stop their balancing act to help us. They were so kind to us. They had two little girls were so happy and helped lighten the mood. They danced and raced around while their dad yanked and pulled at that dang key. Before we knew it practically the whole village was out there trying to help us. It was a continuous game of charades. So many people stopped to see what was going on and tried to help, but no one was able to. We were able to call the hostel and ask for help, but they were like, "Just turn it to the left and pull." HAHAHA YEAH WHY DIDNT WE TRY THAT? Seriously so annoying how unhelpful they were. Eventually we were able to get someone sent out to help us.

We had been up since 8am and hadn't eaten anything all day because we had been exploring all day and because we didn't exactly plan on being stranded all night. We sat on the side of the road and shared the three crackers Maddi had. Those crackers were the best meal I have ever had.

As we were waiting for our handy man to show up the catastrophe of all catastrophes happened. We had to poop. I am not even joking when I tell this story. Every bit of it is 100% true. Kenzie had to poop and it was as if my body heard the word poop and went into full detox mode. I had to go and I had to go RIGHT THEN. I began doing the "Oh goodnessssss, please not right now!!!" poo dance. I was frozen. It was that kind of bathroom emergency where it is such an emergency I couldn't move and take action because it was happening. You know what I mean... it was happening. I am 19 years old and almost pooped my pants. My dear friends, it was such a close call. I had angels looking over me that night. Unfortunately, I can not say the same for Kenzie. Things were not as fortunate for her. She ran over to a creek of sorts and began attempting to take her one piece bathing suit off, but did not make it in time. "I JUST SHARTED!!!!!" echoed though the valley. The Lord with his perfect timing had our handy man arrive right then and there. Kenzie panicked and pulled her pants up and ran over to us and tried to act normal for the poor man that had been thrown into our troubles. But as you can imagine, the smell reeking from her "incident" did not let anyone act as if nothing happened. We were dying laughing and somewhat shunned her because she smelt so bad. 

To make it worse, it was as if the mosquitos heard there was a human gathering and SO MANY mosquitos came for dinner. They began biting right as the sun went down and never stopped. It was beyond aggravating trying to hold my phone flash light up for the guy who had ripped the lock out of the moped and was now banging it with a wrench on the sidewalk. These were the worst bug bites I have ever had in my life. They felt like fire and didn't stop itching for DAYS. We each had scabs from scratching them so hard. Worst bites ever. I was wearing a dress so my entire legs were exposed to those dang suckers. So many bites, so little itch cream. 

As we were being eaten alive, Kenzie snuck away to clean herself up as best she could. Luckily she had a while because our Chinese handy man was taking his sweet ol time. He was banging the lock (with the key still stuck inside) on the sidewalk as if that was going to do something. He began pulling the lock off the key with a screw driver and did some more banging here and there. Eventually the key came out and we all were ecstatic (except for Kenzie who's whereabouts were far away enough not to be smelt). But what do ya know, the handy man had shredded our key! It didn't work anymore! He began banging it with a wrench yet again and then continued to scrape it on the edge of the road. I am no professional, but I do know all of the above actions would lead to a ruined key? Although he did ruin our key and hopes of ever getting home before we were eaten alive, he did bring a spare key and began installing the new wahoo's that came with that. 

As he was doing that Kenzie and her smell rejoined us because she had ran out of wipes and was literally SOL. We were beyond starving and were about to eat each other when finally the guy got our moped to turn on. Two hours later, in the pitch black of night, we were finally on our way home!

One of the mopeds didn't have lights on it so I had to drive in the front and Kaylie on the bike without lights drove in the middle and Kenzie and Maddi drove in the back. The handy man guy was kind enough to escort us back to town but was going a bit fast. I was trying to keep up with him while Kaylie was trying to not run into trees. It came to a point where Jennie and I had to stop on our moped and wait for the other girls and were beginning to get a bit worried. Just as we were about to turn around to look for them, Kaylie came around the corner and we immediately began laughing. Kaylie's hair was flying in the wind and she was holding her phone up for light while trying to drive down the bumpy road with one hand. She looked like Hagrid from Harry Potter when he is flying on his motorcycle using his wand for light. I was seriously dying people, it was hilarious. 

The guy was going so fast and we were all trying to keep up with him which caused us to get split up. Yet again, Jennie and I found ourselves on a moped split up from the rest of our group. We have officially agreed to never ride together on the way home ever again after the last two incidents. Being split up caused some strife in our group and we began to get worried as Kenzie and Maddi still hadn't shown up. A little while passed and they finally arrived. It was really obvious they were upset with us because we had gotten split up, but as Kenzie was trying to park the bike she completely obliterated a guys coconut stand. She ran that guy over. Brakes were a no go and she rammed him. As bad as the situation was, I could yet again not stop laughing because she had a poop handprint on her shorts. She had possibly broken this guys drink stand and I was laughing because of the poop on her pants. It's comical now, but she would've killed me if she saw me laughing. 

The rest of the night was dedicated to finally eating, finally showering, and laughing at how humorous our whole day had been. Longest day ever, but filled with some of the best memories of my life. Everything from scenic routes, near death off roading, swimming in a beautiful river, being stranded in China, and pooping our pants. Our day was perfect.